Ten Things That Never Happened
by Ryunn Kazan
Summary: If Gideon had been just a little bit braver, would things have been different for him and Roderick? Gidrick


She was dragging him away.

"Gideon!"

She was going to kill him.

"Help me!"

Gideon was so scared. How could he save Roderick? He was just a kid himself, and the Black Fairy was so powerful, so terrifying.

So right about him.

He began to shrink back in his cell, trying to block out Roderick's hiccupping sobs.

The Black Fairy laughed…

1.

And Gideon met her eyes with a fierce glare.

"Help Gideon! Help!"

Gideon ran after him. He was terrified. He knew there was a chance he and Roderick were going to be killed on the spot, but he ran after him anyway.

He grabbed the boy by the arm and practically carried him back to his cell, throwing him in and closing the cell door before the Black Fairy could catch up with them.

Gideon had proven her wrong after all. He could be a hero.

The beating he received afterwards did not change that.

"I did it for you," he whispered to the sobbing boy long after the Black Fairy had finished with him. "I promise, she'll never hurt you again."

2.

Gideon was drenched in sweat and had several deep nicks from his most recent sword fight. Xavier was one of mother's more unstable followers. Eager to draw blood and earn her favor by proving his strength.

Gideon had nearly gotten killed, but he won the spare, and now he could rest.

Roderick was waiting dutifully in his quarters for him. Gideon made him stay there training. Xavier would kill him if he tried to fight for Gideon.

There was worry in the younger man's deep, blue eyes, but he stayed silent as he handed him a towel.

Gideon smiled, wiping the soft fabric over his chest.

It was good to be home.

3.

"You weren't supposed to follow me," Gideon hissed as he hastily bandaged Roderick's shoulder.

"I'm not letting you do this alone," Roderick argued, sucking in a breath when Gideon tightened the final layer of gauze. "This is the savior we're up against."

Gideon vanished the conjured medicine basket with a flick of his wrist and stepped away from his companion, passing hastily in the confined space of the clock tower.

"She could have killed you," Gideon panted, the very idea of the savior hurting Roderick making him want to turn around and fight her again.

"The Black Fairy would have done so just as quickly," Roderick reminded him as he began to put his shirt back on.

"No she wouldn't have," Gideon hissed, his heart racing. "She would have imprisoned you and used you as a bargaining chip to get me to do what she wants, but she would have kept you alive."

"Or feed me to Xavier," Roderick deadpanned as he struggled with the buttons.

"She knows what you mean to me!" Gideon finally broke, his voice bouncing off the metal walls. "And now the savior does too, and you're in more danger than either of us can imagine!"

Roderick gave up on the buttons and squeezed the sides of his head in irritation. They couldn't afford to get into a fight now, not when they had too much planning to do. He stood, his shirt slipping down his shoulders.

"Come here," Roderick sighed, trying to get a hold of his arm.

"No, Roderick," Gideon sighed, swiping him away.

"Just…come here," Roderick puffed, turning Gideon towards him. The taller man glared at him, and the heat of his stare did not go away even as Roderick pressed up to kiss him on the lips, balancing himself by the shoulders.

Gideon tried not to give in, tried not to show Roderick how calm a single touch of his lips could make him. But Roderick was the peace to his war, and he could not stay mad at someone who literally crossed realms to be with him.

Roderick pulled back with a wet pop, and Gideon wrapped his arms around him to keep him close.

"I'm sorry," Gideon sighed, defeated.

Roderick smiled, satisfied that his companion was at ease for tonight.

4.

There was metal clashing all around him…his father was helping mother…Xavier was trying to stab him…had him pinned against the clock…but then Roderick…

"No no no no…" Gideon sobbed, fighting his mother's restraining grip.

"Gideon stop, please," she begged.

Gideon struggled to throw the covers off. He had to find Roderick.

Suddenly his father was there too, trying to hold him down.

"Easy son," he tried to sooth. "You're hurt really bad you need to—"

"I need to find Roderick…" Gideon pled. He could taste blood in his mouth.

A screeching behind him caused Gideon to jolt, his ragged nerves latching onto the sound.

His breath evacuated his lungs in one short trip when he saw that the sound was the curtain separating him from the bed next to his.

Behind it was a very bruised Roderick, struggling to sit up as Gideon had moments ago.

His parents didn't protest when he all but crawled to Roderick's bed, carefully scooping the younger man into his shaking grip.

He smelled like blood and metal and home.

"I'm sorry," Gideon sobbed into his dirty curls.

Roderick carefully unhinged him from his shoulder. "I told you I'm not letting you do this alone."

Gideon laughed wetly, nodding. He had said that, hadn't he?

Gideon studied the gentle man in front of him, bruised and cracked from the inside out. He'd fought tooth and nail for him their entire life, sometimes just in the most subtle ways. He was always there. When he shouldn't have been. When Gideon was losing his soul to darkness.

He couldn't help it, he kissed Roderick hard and fully, tasting their new life on his breath.

Roderick released a sound of joy when they finally parted, holding Gideon's head to his.

"_We made it."_

5.

Belle had given them separate rooms. There wasn't an underlined reason for it, it was just something she did to make sure they both rested easily for the night. She was so frazzled from the Black Fairy's attach that could hardly function, causing Rumplestiltskin to lead her off to bed before Gideon or Roderick could protest.

Honestly neither of them knew what to say. They'd shared a bed since Gideon saved him from the Black Fairy (Gideon was too afraid that she was snatch him away if he wasn't close enough).

The idea terrified Gideon even as he laid awake in the crisp clean sheets of the guest room, hoping if he breathed low enough he could hear Roderick next door.

This wasn't right, the distance. He belonged by Roderick's side. This world was too new and terrifying to exist in on their own.

But now they didn't need to be as close. The Black Fairy was defeated, and they could afford some distance. Roderick deserved some breathing room, even if the possibility shook Gideon to his core.

He threw the covers off and made a b-line to the door. He'd only check on him, be sure he had enough blanket, he was warm and such. Then he'd return to his own lonely bed and spread out to fill in the empty space next to him.

He opened the door and nearly collided with Roderick's fist.

In the moonlight, he could see his face look up at him and knew his mind. He shifted aside with a steady grin, and Roderick entered on accord.

6.

Gideon was crying. Not out of pain or terror or from a post-panic attack, but from pure joy.

Belle was trying to hold back her own tears. Seeing her love of books reflected in her baby's eyes was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever seen.

Roderick chuckled, leaning over to a grinning Rumplestiltskin.

"I think he likes it."

7.

Neither one of them had seen the ocean before. Even in early summer when the wind was still sharp and cold, but the sand was warm and the waves were gentle.

It was so beautiful, but not as beautiful as Roderick's expression as he tentatively stepped onto the grainy dirt, the tiny crystals oozing between his toes, the water just barely kissing his toes.

But Gideon saw the twinge of horror in his expression as well. There was too much space, too much light, and freedom. Rodrick wasn't used to it, and having it all at once, and having just enough reassurance that it wouldn't be snatched from him, was too much.

Gideon came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist as his breathing increased, holding his ear to his back until his heartbeat slowed its race.

8.

There were questions as to where Roderick's family was. Did his parents give him up, or was he truly stolen by the Black Fairy?

It filled Gideon's mind to the brim with anxiety that he might leave. That he'd find his family and decide to stay with them, and Gideon would never see him again.

When Rumplestiltskin presented them the globe that would show them where Roderick's family were, Gideon excepted his fate.

Roderick deserved happiness, deserved to know where he came from, that he was loved by someone other than him…

But Roderick pushed the globe back.

"My family's right here." He announced, and Gideon barely felt the younger man's fingers intertwine in his own he was so shocked.

9.

Roderick never knew his day of birth. Why on earth would the Black Fairy keep a record on someone who was supposed to die young?

Thus, the day they walked into the diner and half the town proclaimed congrats to Gideon's 29th birthday, he leaned over and gave one small request to his mother.

Later, Granny wheeled out a grand cake with _two_ candles, and Roderick stared at the flickering wax in concern.

"This is us," Gideon tried to explain. "This…is our new beginning."

Roderick stared at him. For so long he'd been an extension of Gideon, sharing each other's burdens and triumphs.

Yet there was always this very thin divide that kept them from truly being together. Manipulation on the Black Fairy's part, fear on Gideon's.

"You've sacrificed so much for me," Gideon continued. "And…I want to share this with you...if you want…I mean…"

"Could you two move it along! I am not eating cake with wax all over it!"

Gideon shot a quick glare at the dwarf that was close to his mother.

"Gideon."

He turned back to Roderick. He was smiling, the answer in his eyes.

How could one person love him so much knowing good and well what he was?

On cue, the blew out their candles, and as their acquaintances and family cheered, Gideon leaned over the dancing smoke and kissed Roderick.

The affection was returned with a chuckle, and Gideon could taste the wax and icing on his breath.

It was the first time their kisses didn't taste like apprehension.

10.

Roderick never did get used to the sea, or any space that wasn't surrounded by walls.

He did however manage to get used to the gated pool area of Gideon's parents backyard.

Gideon sat a glass of ice tea beside him (his mother's recipe) and joined him as they wistfully watched their daughter try to teach her little brother how to kick.

He glanced at Roderick—his husband of six years, which no matter how many times he thought about it the word still filled him with blushing joy.

"What are you thinking about?" he inquired.

Roderick continued staring out into the pool, at the family they had managed to build despite how all the odds were against them.

"Just…how nice it would have been had we actually gotten this life."

_And then—_

Like a bad itch that never stopped.

_The smell of the mines—_

"What?"

_Mother's haunting laugh—_

"I said—"

_And then there's him._

"Wait—"

_Blue eyes and gentle smiles…_

"Gideon you have to listen to me—"

"No!"

-,-,-,-,-,-,-

"Gideon, please," Archie begged as Gideon began pacing. "Please, sit down, breath."

Why should he? Why didn't he just run? Just jump out the nearest window and be done with it all?

"Maybe I can do something?" Gideon sobbed, leaning against the over-plushed couch. "Maybe I can…I can…"

_How do fix you something that was already broken?_

"I can have it…I can get him back."

"I'm sorry Gideon, but no," the doctor said behind him. To his credit, he sounded positively wretched. "None of those things will ever happened, Gideon."

Gideon looked up at the red-haired doctor his parents begged him to see after his last breakdown.

"Roderick died in the mines," the doctor reminded him gently—as if Gideon needed it. "He's gone, and you have to accept that all the things you wanted to happen to him just…" the doctor frowned, sorrowful that he even had to say the next part. "Won't happen."

_Ever._

Gideon nodded. He'd been telling himself the same thing every time the fantasies fueled by years of regret plagued his dreams.

"I know," Gideon responded, his thumb circling a hole in his jeans. "I know...I just…"

The doctor watched helplessly as Gideon's shoulders began to shake, another wave of grief rolling off him.

_How do you say goodbye to someone who's already gone?_

Gideon sobbed, the sounds suffocated by his hands.

"I never wanted anything bad to happen to him."


End file.
